Self confidence...

Some few helpful tips on how to utilize self-talk towards
developing a healthy self-confidence:

1) Listen to your inner voice

• This is the first step in making good use of self-talk. Identify the inner

voice in you and listen to what it is saying. Ask questions like, regarding
the contents of the thoughts, the situations which brought about these
thoughts and the other factors which could have aggravated the
situation.

"Remember that this is to be done under the general goal of building
self-confidence, so try to be as honest as possible"
2) Thoughts Assessment

After the thoughts have been identified, it is time to assess them. 

What
are these thoughts saying in general? What attitude towards the self is
being projected by these thoughts? How have I responded to these
kinds of thoughts in the past? What have these kinds of thoughts
instilled in me throughout the years? Have they been helpful to me and
my quest towards self-confidence?

Another important thing to assess is the way a person responds to the
thoughts that are being said by the inner voice. 

A person might think
that negative thoughts are empowering and that they give the much
needed push to attain one’s goals. 

Negative thoughts and comments
can be helpful in the short run; however, they do more damage than
good. 

Negative thoughts instill a general feeling of hopelessness and
incompetence, especially if one fails more than once in a certain
endeavor. 

Viewing life in a positive light is the way towards building
self-confidence. When a person stumbles down, the inner voice should
say “stand up, you can do it!” rather than “you’re pathetic, stay down
before you hurt yourself again!”

The general tone of the inner voice is as important as what it is saying.
Negative tones should be controlled and be reversed into positive ones.
3) Make a difference
Dealing with one’s inner voice can be a daunting task. 

If it’s hard to talk
to somebody who wouldn’t listen, it’s even harder to talk and listen to
oneself since there can be no sensible argument that could happen.

Getting rid of the negative thoughts inside one’s head will give the
positive thoughts some space. It is all about rephrasing the negative
thoughts to make them positive.

One’s concept of the world is based on
his views of the world. You develop self-confidence by feeling good
about yourself. 

"The inner voice should not have control of the body it is
the person who should have control over the inner voice."
Self-confidence is like a pair of eyeglasses, having the right pair can
make one enjoy the beauty of things to the fullest.

 Life, if one truly
looks at it, is all about perception. One will never enjoy life if he
perceives it with much negativity. 

 This is also true in terms of viewing
oneself. 

Self-confidence is tied to having true happiness. True happiness
can only come from within a person’s heart and believing in oneself is
the only way to achieve happiness.

Fear...how to tackle..???

Fear of one’s self is demonstrated in several ways. You can experience
shyness, diffidence, bashfulness, timidity and a need of “self confidence”.
Here are some factors that contribute to one’s fear:

1. When we feel separated, fear increases. A fact is that one does not
fear those he is familiar with (people and surroundings). Fear arises
when there is a certain feeling of estrangement, which exhibits overall
sense or impression of suspicion.

2. Attachment to individuals as well as material things associated with
one’s security cause one to fear that one might loose them, so one will
do everything in order to protect one’s relationships, possessions or his
self-image.

3. Strange surroundings and unfamiliar people bring about fear.
Unfamiliar situations threat one’s security and usually one reacts with
extreme caution and at times, defensive behavior.
4. One’s negative memory of past experiences where one had either
suffered or witnessed loss, harm or death aggravates fear. The
subconscious retains memories of the past and at certain circumstances,
these are ignited.
5. Imagination at times can create or invent images of trouble, suffering
or pain outside physical truth or reality. Note that Imagination is never
negative, however when misused and abused, it can bring so much fear
in oneself.
Combat fear by developing self-confidence. Here are few guidelines:
1. Emphasize your strengths. Focus on what it is that you are capable
of achieving and praise yourself for your strength and your struggle
than focusing on the results. Beginning on a foundation of things that
you are capable rather than what should you be doing will help you live
and work within your limitations.

2. Talk to yourself. Examine yourself and practice how to handle
situations as well as counter negative ones. Know when to stop when
you catch yourself in a negative assumption.

For instance, when you find yourself demanding perfection, tell yourself
that everything can not result perfectly. This will allow you to believe in
yourself at the same time that you are striving to get better.

3. Evaluate yourself. Practice how to independently evaluate yourself.
This will let you avoid the persistent sense of confusion that results
when you are relying completely on the opinions and judgment of
others.

4. Take those risks. When you face and accept experiences as
instruments for learning than possibilities to lose or win, new
opportunities can be unlocked and this can develop your self awareness
and acceptance.

Remember, self-confidence can be developed, not inherited; and fear
can be overcome because you have the trust and the faith in yourself to
do so. 

                               

reviewing..

**********

some great lines in hindi..

एकाकी जीवन का सूना
कोलाहल कानों में
प्यासा अंतस् सूख रहा है
अंधकार भावों में
नागफणी का पुष्पहार ले
मत निहार चंचल मन
फिर भी बहता जीवन

पंकित गलियारे जीवन के
नहीं नीर आँखों में
दीप शिखा भी स्नेह रहित है
निराधार हाथों में
डोल रहा जीवन लहरों संग
तू बावरा मेरा मन
फिर भी बहता जीवन

*********** 

Life is about....

life means:

a winter evening four friends mild rain four cups of tea

life means:

hundred bucks of petrol,two rusty old bikes,and an open road...

life means:

maggi noodles,a hostel room 3:25 am

life means:

1 preparation leave, 1 night ,1book, 8 duffers..

life means:

3 old friends,3 different cities ,3 coffee mugs and 1 internet messenger...

"life means friends.."